✦Party Launch · Volume 1, Edition 1✦Filed under: General Disgruntlement✦Sponsored by no one. Funded by nothing.✦HQ: Wherever the wifi works✦Now accepting rants, retweets, and resentment✦Party Launch · Volume 1, Edition 1✦Filed under: General Disgruntlement✦Sponsored by no one. Funded by nothing.✦HQ: Wherever the wifi works✦Now accepting rants, retweets, and resentment
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The Dispatch
News
Satirical takes on the headlines that ruined breakfast.
Scheme No. 14: Government Discovers Youth Unemployment, Announces Fix
India's 14th skill development scheme since 2014 is here. We catalogued all thirteen predecessors and their outcomes. The jobs, however, are still loading.
India's GDP Grew 7%. Your Job Prospects Grew 0.3%.
India's GDP hit 7% growth in 2025 while formal job creation flatlined at 0.3%. A masterclass in economic numbers that look great on slides and nowhere else.
Disruption Has Been Disrupted: India's Startup Reckoning
India's startup ecosystem spent a decade selling hustle culture, free snacks, and infinite scale. In 2025, it's selling pink slips and desk mandates instead.
We Read Budget 2025's 172 Pages So You Didn't Have To
Union Budget 2025 says 'youth' eleven times. We did the maths on India's fiscal policy and what the generation it keeps invoking actually received.
NEET 2025: One Exam, Twenty-Four Lakh Sacrifices, Zero Accountability
Every year, millions of Indian students surrender their youth to one exam. Every alternate year, that exam leaks. This is not a coincidence. This is policy.